The library top 10

‘Tis the season to start going to the library even more often than you previously did because frankly it is just too darn cold outside to do anything else. So here are the top 10 ways to make your library season visit more enjoyable (at least for me anyway).

1. Check your shoes. Dirt, mud, or smelly stuff stuck to the bottom is just really hard to get out of the carpets.
2. Wear shoes, shirts, pants, and a coat. You don’t want to get frost bitten.
3. No pets. I’m pretty sure they aren’t going to overheat in your car at this time of year. And they do have fur so they probably won’t freeze either.
4. If you are going to come inside the library there is no need to drop your books into the overnight drop box first. You can drop them in the drop box under the desk or even put them on the counter. Unlike your pets, books don’t have fur so by the time we get them from the overnight box they might have frozen to death.
5. Cell phones. Cool devices, but they weren’t made for me to hear you talk to your Aunt Maude about her irritable bowel syndrome.
6. Don’t steal the soap dispensers from the bathrooms. I know they would make pretty sweet stocking stuffers, but I think the presentee would prefer a full one.
7. Save yourself a trip back to your freezing car and your cold nose pet by checking under the seat for books that you will swear you brought in with you.
8. Kids under 8 need to be accompanied by an adult. I’m not Santa so I can’t see who is naughty and nice while they play in the library.
9. Please cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough. Preferably not with a book. We have tissues and sanitizer wipes at the desk for you to use. I know it’s the season for giving, but I don’t think people want you to give them your cold.
10. If you need help, please ask and don’t ever be embarrassed. We’re happy to help and we’re professionally trained to answer almost any question. (Sorry parents. We will defer if a child asks us if Santa is real. That one is yours.)

So there you go. Ten things that you can do to make your library season more enjoyable (for me) and if you’re lucky we might be able to find something about your Aunt Maude’s irritable bowel syndrome for you.

Chris Bacon works for the Mason County District Library, Scottville branch.